I don't think I need say so much more unless you have further questions? It's very, very important! And it's a tragedy! You see what happened in the Middle Ages with attacking evil; it ends up with the Inquisition, people killing people. But, again, if those people had been involved freely in the affirmation of that true and original goodness, this kind of thing wouldn't have happened.

"W" says she feels "very enlightened today because I have had a lot of questions in this area, like why have I seen darkness here, why have I seen no way out kind of feeling in this teaching or education or leadership? Now I see why. Because we were not liberating, not affirming this original nature"

When we speak of loving one's self, loving yourself, the important thing is that you're not loving your ego self or loving the negative aspect of yourself, but you're loving this original status. By loving it we mean caring and nourishing it. Because it is of God. That's what your prayer is about. Again, yes, repentance is part of prayer, but someone who thinks that prayer is mainly about just being sorry for things he or she has done, I don't want to hear that all the time. Do you want your kids coming to you every night saying I'm sorry, I'm sorry? Well, I'm the same. I truly want to share deeply with My children and see their growth, just as you want to see the beauty of your children come forth through that communication. And it is frustrating when you can't yet have that relationship with them, I know. I know your feeling. My feeling is that My children have such a strange concept about Me and don't know how to relate with Me, because of their view of themselves. So, I tell you, the self-denial signs are a source of confusion, a source of great confusion for many. This is a very traditional oriental concept, having to do with loyalty to earthly powers. In other words, the king needs you to be this way; it doesn't matter what you want, you must be this way. This has nothing to do with Divine relationship.

"W" says, "Just in general, when you hear the very complex lecture about the Eight Stages of Restoration and the Divine Principle lecture, internal guidance starting with the Enemy of God, and then heartistically that's way below Servant of Servant and all these things, and you feel as if members are already feeling defeated. 'How can I ever climb up or have any ability to see where I am, how much I've restored? It seems like it will take my whole lifetime, and so no wonder I can't have any communication with God. And because I am still a servant, no wonder God is far and I don't have freedom with God.' And then I think they just accept that they're having a hard time because they're still in that stage. But your guidance really liberates me from all that. I feel that no matter where our stage is, we can still open up our heart and reach out to God. And God is ready to respond to that one-hundred percent openness. That's really liberating for me, because I feel as it comes it helps me see myself in Your light; this is my hang-up or this is where I was stuck, and now I can let go of that and it's wonderfully liberating."

Well, members begin to wonder where they are in those eight stages and it becomes an intellectual exercise. Also, many times it is combined with feelings of inferiority or defeat. Usually their judgment is that they're way down there in the first or second stage. The point is, this is not like a cake recipe where you do this and you move on and then you do that and then you move on; it's a heartistic thing.

There is great danger in putting heartistic reality into intellectual concepts because then people become caught by the concepts and are stuck, almost tied up in ropes of concepts. But, again, in the realm of heart, one can go from perhaps the first to, let's say, way up the ladder of those stages within a couple of days. It's not just a matter of how many people you loved; it's how quickly you learned and how open you are to growth. Of course, in your life you have to establish some consistency. Maybe your insight or your understanding on a spiritual level is very far, but in your physical reality you still have a bad temper or this or that difficulty, and you have to bring that up. But never ever take for granted the importance of your realization with Me.

I want to share as much with you as you are open to. It's just a matter of finding the opportunities day by day to practice what you know. So, that's up to you. Don't let it become an intellectual exercise or, again, become like a cake recipe. It's very hard, if you listen to certain teachers, to think of it as more than just a complicated recipe for how to be perfected. Getting caught up like that becomes a very selfish thing sometimes. People get so caught up with "Where am I now?" This can lead to personal problems. The important thing is not where you are, but the important thing is learning how to love and serve others, then you don't have to worry about where you are. Do you think Mother Theresa is worrying where she is all the time? Which stage she's at? No. If she started expressing that to her friends, they'd think something was wrong.

"W" says, "I understand, because if I am in the status of giving or being really busy with the people and accomplishing something together, then I don't think about all these things, I don't worry about these things. It's when I'm not active in that way, then I get so many worries, especially when the Japanese office sends out all these memos, sometimes I get a headache because I don't know how to comprehend all these things. It overwhelms and discourages me. I feel how can I ever begin to comprehend all that. And I am an older member, and I simply wonder how other members will interpret it and get inspiration out of it."

It's a very Japanese type of reality and they're very proud, but that's not the ultimate reality. It's not wrong, and if you know how to eat those things up, then they can help; but they are not the final reality. So, again, what I shared before, the key point of our talk tonight is this self-nourishment affirmation. And as I made this parallel between Eastern and Western medicine, this is the same thing as a positive and growing type of religious attitude or spiritual attitude and one which is almost negating. It's so strange when you see people who struggle about their fallen nature but who can turn around and express and unconsciously defend their fallen nature to a brother or sister so strongly and then go back to struggling the minute the person runs out of the room.

That's the contradiction. Do you understand? What does all this struggle mean if it doesn't end up somehow in a being who is expressing something good and light and true? It's a great ignorance here and great darkness. Great darkness. It's the beginning of what can turn into inquisition, and so it's a dangerous thing. That's why truth itself in a book doesn't mean so much. Father did a great thing by bringing Divine Principle, but how it is understood, how it is applied, what's emphasized, what's not emphasized is crucial to either building or destroying the Kingdom. The book itself, even if everyone in the world has that book in their hand, can't do so much.

It's like the Bible. The Bible has been here for many, many centuries, but the world is very corrupt right now. The Bible has been misused so much. It's what is in people's hearts, that's the true Bible, that's the true Divine Principle. What's in a book is like a road map, you might say. You cannot expect that that book will save everything. There are people who just believe the Bible as if it were Me, but that's a great mistake. Actually, the Bible in the wrong hands ends up being a weapon of torture. The same thing with Divine Principle. In the wrong hands it can negate life because it's being used by immature, dark minds.

That's why you have to enlighten your mind, and then each point of Divine Principle becomes something truly illuminating and more than simply what's in a book. In many ways the Japanese love cake recipes, they love the one, two, three, four, five, and to have all the documents. But, again, the point is what is the status of the openness of the heart? How much is that original self being nourished truly? That's the critical thing between the successful religious life and just somebody who's very proud because they followed all the rules. It's a great mistake.

We could talk about this for a long time. It's a very crucial reality between these two approaches, and you better think about this deeply because it can be the difference between success and lack of success in the movement.

I feel very sorry in many ways about this self-denial matter because it's a source of great confusion. Just as the statement "I never prayed from weakness," it's the same thing.

I'm in need of those who can speak on My behalf because I can't go through the streets shouting. I am invisible and I am only audible or can be heard by those who have an ear to hear, as Jesus said. So, sometimes there's a need for prophets - that means inspired tongues.

And "W," again I say that it would be a good thing for you to take these last two tapes - if you want to have them typed, fine - but to try to synthesize what you feel is most important, and then maybe "H" could refine the English. But this is for you, "W." Perhaps your expression could be much deeper than "H's" at this point, because of something opening up in you toward a new realization.

"W" says "I want to really reflect on this. So many things come out, it's like a television screen. When you say Unification Church movement, I can see myself in it, walking in that same kind of path. And I start seeing how precious is that five percent responsibility that you have given to man and how unexercised that five percent realm has been. As you said, it has been limited to just a small realm of obedience. And that's not doing justice to that five percent because it doesn't give man any dignity by the way the majority of us interpret or exercise that five percent. Not even in just a religious term or in a religious organization or Unification Church's practice, no, or even in restoration course, no. In the original world that five percent that was installed within man has enormous meaning. I can just sense it. I don't even know the enormity of it, but I feel like I just have to tap into that because I haven't really opened that yet, I feel I'm still so fixed in that concept."

Your five percent is not ultimately a duty or just seeing - this is hard to put into words - it's not just having a whole new idea of five percent beyond obedience. No. Ultimately your five percent is who you truly are. Your being as a person, whether you are sitting and doing nothing or whether you are fully involved doing great goodness. It's who you truly are. So you can see the difference between that and someone who is very repressed inside, very pushed down, who is thinking they just have to obey their central figure, then you could see why people end up so angry. Because literally their truer self is buried and it wants to break loose, and the conflict between that original desire and the reality in their life creates a tremendous conflict in them. It can end up with hatred and sometimes even murder. It's a most profound form of abuse. You should never be accused of abusing your fellow man in that way. It's far worse than physical abuse. It's the abuse of eternal things.

"W" says, "So even in the name of God, in the name of Divine Principle, in the name of True Parents, we have the potential to do great sin. I can see the danger of that, yes. Oh, my. It's a lot to think about."

There is so much more to share, but night by night I just will keep sharing more. "H" always wonders at the beginning of each evening if we've run out, if maybe there's no more to share, but he's foolish.

"W" admits, "Me too. How limited I am."

When you think of the unlimited quality of the Universe, well, the realm of truth, of understanding, of love, of being is far beyond that Universe. Then if we share one square foot of meaning each night, well, how many nights do we have then if we're going to talk about something beyond the Universe? I can go forever. And also, once you've begun to tap into that realm, then every moment, every day, every action, you're catching meaning, catching understanding, growing. Everything. And, therefore, you wouldn't have a different kind of life for any reason in the world, any other way of life.

"W" says, "I think I begin to understand at this point, though I may fall back again, but why do we let go of prayer even though it's so vital and important? Probably because our understanding is still very intellectual and conceptual. I think we haven't really experienced that realm of self-affirmation and cultivating our original mind in the prayer time, and then we have so many hang-ups like: If I come to God, maybe I'll have to repent again; or I failed today; or I couldn't follow through on what I promised. So many things like this. It's kind of like not the realm of original mind that moves forward with you, but more like going backwards. And because of that we limit ourselves and make a blockage in ourselves. And that discourages us to come before you. So I can see why, personally, I so easily let go of that prayer."

And may I say that this is the reason why in sitting down and meditating on these things that we've covered, and even doing some writing, you'll get many more insights that way and you'll affirm so much more. And that way you can have a strong impression so that you won't easily fall back into old ways. Don't think of this as Me telling you to do this, but I suggest it as a way to really internalize what has been shared between us.

"W" says, "I know every one of us needs it. I know this is not just limited to us. I can see that the majority of us, maybe everybody, can develop it. Not everybody is ready, but some people are really hungry for this."

People, especially people who are looking for spiritual things, will go where they can find Me. If they came to the Unification movement but end up depressed, pushed down, and end up just leaving, this is a great tragedy for Me because I'm the one who started this movement, not Sun Myung Moon. I'm the one who began everything. I asked him to work with Me as a very special and historical person, of course, but I'm the one who laughs and feels great joy when someone comes in and says "I want to stay." I'm also the one who cries very deeply when they leave feeling unfulfilled, rejected, depressed, and completely dark toward Me and, again, toward their own selves, that self that should be affirmed. That's the act of brotherhood or sisterhood, to help brothers and sisters this way. Of course, it doesn't mean never saying anything about how to improve, but that's a detail within the whole larger reality of affirmation and nourishment. Unfortunately, it gets turned around many times where the whole big thing becomes judgment and legalism, and then once in a while somebody gives a compliment. It's backwards.

When you truly love someone, you have almost a crazy desire to see that person become good and true and perfected, something very beautiful. And that's why you can become very free to share everything, even if you need to say "Your hair is dirty" or "You don't smell so good," but it's all within this wonderful framework of truly loving and truly nourishing. But when that's not in the subjective role and it's simply a matter of getting people to follow, to obey, whether it be an idea or a central figure or whatever, you can see the difference between the two. It's, on the one hand, like eating a sirloin steak and, on the other hand, like eating cardboard. That's why people don't want to stay; nobody wants to eat cardboard everyday.

"W" says, "And, you know, at this time of tribal messiahship, everybody knows this invitation is there for them to stand up with God and this is the opportunity to really take the initiative and start really growing without one central figure controlling you. And then they are genuinely frustrated seeing the church or somehow they themselves don't know how to take off on that path. They know the invitation is there, but the question is how can they take off? What nourishment can they get? Then seeing the older church members, the elders, and it seems like they are the Abels, and those still living outside of the church, kind of like a family member type of feeling still. And that's how church members look at it sometimes."

It's all extremely shallow. Again, the dimension of the heart and the dimension that we're talking about tonight, it's like being blind to that. Reality is so far beyond this kind of reality that I cannot express it in words. It's so far beyond, it's even humorous to see the ridiculous things, it's like a Charlie Chaplin movie.

Let's finish tonight. I look forward to your synthesis of this because I Myself would like to see it. And I would like to see that you can share it with those that you really love and are concerned with.