Speech to a meeting of blessed couples in Oslo, Norway, 13th Feb '98.

It's great to see you all talking so freely and openly about your family situations.

Are you satisfied with yourselves as parents? If you're great, your children will be great.

We need someone in the grandparents position in our community of believers here in Norway. If your children don't follow you well, they will follow me. Please, let me know about your children's situation. I will help you as a grandfather. If your children unite with me, they can follow you better as well.

We must let our children grow up together, as a large family.

When other children come to visit you, please, tell them their parents are great! Let's say nice things about their mum and dad. That's very encouraging for them. Never say bad things about their parents. Let's rather remind them of their parents' strong points. They may have experienced their parents fighting each other. Please, tell them that their parents fight because they want very much that you grow up. When the mother wants to buy something, but the father has a different opinion, they may have an argument. The children see this, but are not able to understand why their mum and dad argue. Other parents can explain this to the children. We have to exchange information about our children.

Children see that their parents don't go to the Sunday service. Other parents are able to explain to those children that their parents have many reasons. Problems have to get sorted out. Then their parents will again be able to attend the services. We have to protect each other. I'm not saying you should tell lies. Lying is very bad. It's very important to understand each others' situation as parents. I'm happy you discuss openly about your family situations.

After the Holy Wedding in 1960 True Parents promised to each other never to cry in front of their children. We too should never cry in front of our children. This was not easy for Mother. Father used to speak to the members until very late, sometimes till midnight. Between midnight and four o'clock in the morning there was a curfew. It would take forty minutes home from Su Taek Ri to Chong Pa Dong. Father would sometimes not leave until 11.30 p.m. Mother couldn't sleep. She asked Father to stop earlier, but Father didn't seem to care. Mother expressed her opinion, but it was rejected. Mother wouldn't feel good. That happened several times, but Mother had to follow Father's word. Still Mother could never show those kind of feelings in front of the children. You too, when you go through similar situations, don't express negative feelings in front of the children. If you do, they will inherit your negative feelings.

You can explain that you have different opinions. You can even tell your children you're not so good. Be honest! The children should understand that their parents argue for the sake of others. In the secular world people argue for their own sake. If your children see you argue for the sake of others, they will respect you.

We must follow our original mind. Then we'll have no problems. We know the complete answer in our mind. We offered our children to God during the Eighth Day Ceremony. We promised to raise our children as the children of Heavenly Father. But we kept thinking they are "my children".

We cannot accuse each other in front of the children. They're Heavenly Father's children. If we think they're "my children", we may hit them. How do you treat your children when they don't listen to you? Heavenly Father wants to teach you through them. If you think about Heavenly Father when your kids are making trouble, you cannot hit them. You have to treat them with care. They are God's children. You are there to protect them. That's how True Parents think of us. True Parents have forgiven us so many times, in spite of us having made so many problems. True Parents never think of us as Satan's children.

Let's bear in mind that our children belong to Heavenly Father and really protect them. So many children are born in Satan's tradition of love. They only learn to think of themselves. We have to show them we live for others and not for ourselves.

Please, don't pray just for your own children, but for all second generation children.

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