I started to cry and cry and could not stop for three days

Paul Werner
May 1971

Paul Werner

Since I was asked to write my testimony, I am very happy to testify to the fact, that God had prepared and guided me and my family to become useful in his vineyard.

Many happenings in my life I could not really understand until I was found by the Divine Principle in the year 1963 in Sacramento, California, USA.

I was born on Sept. 13, 1927 in a little town in Pomerania, a German province now belonging to Poland. With ten brothers and sisters I was educated in a strict Christian-pietistic home. My father, who at that time worked in the provincial government, often preached the gospel in different congregations and was later ordained as minister. My mother also led a life very strong in faith and prayer according to the Lutheran belief. At the age of ten I had to join the youth organization under the Hitler-Regime. During that time I could not quite understand, what satanic force stood behind this ideology. My longing for God was already strong at that time, and so I became a member of the EC-youth group, an affiliate association of the protestant Church, based on strict Christian principle. My parents also had belonged to this group.

When I was 12 years of age, my father was transferred to Poland, where we lived for about four years. Here we learned to know the Polish people and their longing for freedom (their land was occupied by Germany at that time). During the war Christian life was very difficult to practice in Germany.

At the age of 16 I had to enlist in the "Reichsarbeitsdienst" which was a kind of pre-military training at that time, and just before I turned 17, I was drafted into the army. The war was in its last stage. This terrible war was raging thru Germany and I could not understand, why all this had to happen. In the night, when the city of Dresden was bombed and just about totally destroyed within a few hours, I felt very sad seeing all thousands of dead people lying in the streets and my heart was crying: "Why could God let this happen? Shortly afterwards we were lad into battle against the US-Army and I was captured in the beginning of the year 1945 and sent from one prison camp to another. Finally I was sent to France along with many other prisoners of war, to work at different jobs but mainly in the coal mine 1,200 yards underground. During the war and especially during the four years as prisoner of war I had to suffer very much along with so many others, yet I didn't know why.

Coming back to Germany at Christmas 1948, my freedom became another struggle. We returned too late; others already had established their lives. During a revival meeting I received Jesus as my personal saviors and decided to become a missionary. However I was not admitted to the seminary because of too many applicants.

I then found a job in a research laboratory in Germany, where I worked for four years. Since there was no possibility 'of advancement at that time, I immigrated to Canada in 1953 with my wife Christal and our son Klaus, who was seven months 'old when we started our journey across the ocean. In Canada I had to work hard for about 4 1/2 years. Here my wife and son were stricken by illness and had to undergo serious operations. At that time the unemployment situation grow worse and we were particularly hard hit with so many doctors and hospital bills to pay. I was unable to find a job for about six months and so we immigrated to Cleveland, Ohio, USA. After getting there I had to be taken to the hospital with thrombosis (a blood clod) in my leg. There I almost died. Again my question was: "Why does all this have to happen?" We had been very lonesome in a foreign country and deep in my heart I had a strong religious feeling. For no reason at all I used to say to my wife: "Someday I will be perching the gospel." The existing church could not give us anything.

In Cleveland I began to work for a Jewish businessman, who had a "Formica shop". I was his only carpenter and one day I asked him, whether I could become his partner in business. He agreed, but I had to pay a high sum of money, which I borrowed. Within a short time we had a little factory and made good money. In the year 1960 we even took a trip to Europe.

One day in 1961 a man from Sacramento came into my office. He talked about California as being paradise. Something drew me to California, but I didn't know what it was. I sent my partner to investigate the situation and he agreed that we should move to California. I left him behind in Cleveland to sell our factory and went ahead to establish a business in Sacramento. My partner never followed me to Sacramento, neither did I see my money from the sale of the factory.

In Sacramento we started a new life. I went to Heald's College to study "construction made and passed my state examination and became a general contractor. I also went to Real Estate School, passed the real estate examination and became a real estate salesman. I began to build and sell houses and came into contact with an old Jewish gentleman, who asked me to step into big contracting business, which I did. Day and night I worked to establish something and made good money. But more and more I was drawn into the parties of the high society, where I felt like a stranger. I could not mingle with them.

In August 1963, just when we had reached the point, where we were well off financially, my wife came home and told me about a strange incident:

She attended a farewell party and when she needed a ride to her parked car at the office, a girl, Sandy Pinkerton, who also was invited to the party, offered to take her there. Just before my wife got off her car, Sandy started to cry and when my wife asked her, what the trouble was, she answered: "I have to tell you, CHRIST IS ON EARTH!"

When my wife came home telling me about it, I felt sorry for that girl and figured, that she had fallen into the hands of an extreme sect. So we invited her for Sunday, to straighten her out. But strangely enough, I had a feeling I could not describe.

That particular Sunday she came and brought her husband and a friend, Pauline Philipps, along. We were sitting together and Pauline started a conversation with me. Within one hour of their stay I heard again, that Christ was supposed to be on earth, living in Korea.

When I heard this, a voice within me cried out: "Yes, it must be true!" But another voice said: "No, it couldn't be. He has to come in the clouds of heaven and everybody will see him!". A real struggle began. Those people left us and we did not hear from them r a whole week. From that time on we started to really investigate the Divine Principle. For years my wife and I had been praying together every night before going to sleep. But now a real battle began. All this seemed too dangerous to me and I asked my wife, to fight on her own, which she did. I read the Principle, compared it with the Bible and prayed and prayed day and night.

In the meantime we went to San Francisco, where we met Miss Kim. When we got there, eve; thing seemed so strange. Miss Kim explained the Divine Principle. She was a tremendous teacher. We felt a "strong" atmosphere at the center in San Francisco. Especially on Children's Day we could feel the presence of God. Back in Sacramento we fasted and did many things to find out, whether the Divine Principle is the Truth. Many spiritual phenomena occurred to us, even though we never experienced anything like this before. One night, when I was alone in the house, I was awakened by a noise yid I saw an oriental, man sitting before me on a chair with a baby in his lap. I looked at him and became frightened, since I had never seen anything like this before. A few days later I saw the same man on a picture in Miss Kim's room in San Francisco. It was our Leader. In many nights during that time people appeared in my house and talked in my house and talked excitedly and I knew, that these people were my ancestors. I prayed and prayed to God, to let me know, whether the Divine Principle is the Truth and Mr. Sun Myung Moon the returned Christ.

One night during my battle I was driven into the dark. I drove into the rough country along the Sacramento River. Here and there the moon was coming thru the clouds and I was sitting on my knees at the river bank crying to God, to give me an answer, I had heard, that the Leader had been kneeling on hard rocks praying for mankind. I asked for a sign, again and again I asked for a sign, but no sign came to me. After six hours I went back to my home, where my wife and the others waited for me. When I was home, a feeling, come over me, such a sad feeling, as if it was the sadness of the heart of God. I started to cry and could not stop for three days.

My body was shaking, that I almost couldn't bear it anymore, and I heard a voice within myself saying: "That is your sign; this is how God feels in his heart looking at mankind, his broken creation. "This was one of my bitterest experiences. During the time of my struggle, exactly 40 days, I had a tremendous headache, which left me at the moment I accepted the Divine Principle and Sun Myung Moon as the returned Christ and our Savior. Peace came over me.

A short time after we accepted the Principle we received the call for our mission in Europe. I went to my business partner and declared, that from now on I would be a missionary and leave for Europe, my mission field. Again I lost of my money, but this time I knew, what it was for. We bought a VW -- Bus, travelled across the United States to New York and boarded the ship to Europe to do Father's Work there.

In Germany we worked with three other Germans, who came from America, Peter Koch, Ursula Schumann and Barbara Koch and Elke Kiawiter, who came with us from California, to lay a foundation for Father. They worked in Frankfurt and we did in Wiesbaden for about one year, when I received, that I should go to Austria, to start the mission there. Three days later, on May 18, 1965, I was on my way to Vienna.

In August 1965 we were greatly blessed by the visit of our Master and his party. The man, who came, was our real Father. I had the Privilege to be his driver on his three-week- tour thru Europe, where he blessed Holy Grounds.

For the first two years of my mission in Austria I left my family in Wiesbaden, Germany, to have a faster start and financial support. We were greatly blessed with success for Father. When our True Parents came in March 1969, we were one of the eight European couples being blessed, for which we are very thankful. When our Master transferred Peter Koch to be the leader of Austria and us to lead the mission in Germany, we were happy to leave about 50 missionaries in Austria, who were strongly working for Father.

In Germany Fathers blessing is really visible. He gave us 21 centers, which are occupied with about 100 members, who really fight for our Heavenly Father and for our True Parent..

We have sent two missionaries to India and one each for Norway and Sweden, to proclaim Father's Truth there.

This was a very long story and yet only a fragment of how our Father had led us from the beginning prepared us to be tools for Him and His Son in this satan-striken world. If I should talk about what God done for us and prove the validity of the Divine Principle, I could never come to an end. Each person, who accepts the Principle and becomes a happy person, is a witness to the love of God, our Father.

I have found the answerer to my unanswered questions. He has led and is leading us forever.

To that I testify in the name of our True Parents.