Book Four - True Family
Chapter Nine - True Education for Children
Section 5. Chastisement with Love

According to the Revelation to John, one should be either cold or hot but never lukewarm. In the world of love a lukewarm attitude will not do. If you have a heart of love you can even chastise with a stick. When you raise your children, if they fail to keep a standard even though you loved them, you should sometimes treat them coldly. If you do not scold them when they are at fault, they will lose their capacity to distinguish right from wrong. You should know that although your Teacher may look amiable, I can sometimes be strict. I can be merciless toward evil, but toward goodness I can be hot like a furnace at thousands of degrees. (103-32.1979.1.28)

When I heard recently that a teacher at a school in the West was in trouble with the authorities for using corporal punishment, I said to myself, "Now that nation will perish!" Students should not mind it if their teachers guides them in the right direction, even though it may mean using strong chastisement.

In Korea, there is a saying that goes, "Give one more rice cake to someone you dislike, and wield a stick for someone you like." There is no other way to ensure that the right tradition is continued. Children should be able to shed tears before the love of their parents, forgetting the pain of the punishment. (Blessed Family - 1027)

The closer you are to someone, the more you can scold him, saying, "You scoundrel! Why did you do that?" instead of rewarding him. If it is some lad from the neighboring village, you can turn a blind eye to his wrongdoings; but if it is your own child, you will spank him on the calf and scold him, saying "You little scoundrel, did you do something good or bad?" The intensity of your concern for him must exceed the severity of the punishment; otherwise, it will be a sin.

If the severity of the punishment surpassed your concern for him, he could become one of your biggest enemies. Even if you punish him out of love, yet the severity of the punishment exceeded the degree of your love, everything would be shattered. Nevertheless, in the opposite case, that would be all right. That is to say, on a scale of one to ten, if your love for him is at a level of ten but incurred a minus of five through the punishment, he would still be grateful at the level of five. (26.32, 1969.10.18)

If your child does not accept it well, in order to bring him to repentance, you should love him with a greater love than you have shown him in the past; then even a delinquent child would be able to repent and turn around. However, if you scold your child repeatedly, and speak loudly about how well you have raised him, he will begin to pack his bags. But if you love them with a greater love, shedding tears as if your heart would melt for them, they will turn around. Greater love tends to take the lead in assimilating and integrating all other lesser forms of love. (Blessed Family - 1027)

Even in secular society, parents who tell their children not to study when they seem tired do not truly love them. They should tell them to stay up and study, even if they have to spank them. Why is it so? They are concerned with their future well-being rather than just their present. Parents do this because they have great dreams for their children's future. (Blessed Family - 1027)

When you give birth to and nurture your children, do so with true love. Through this, if your family members unite closely and learn to love their nation, they will be called patriots. Hence, parents watch over the growing process of their children and educate them and sometimes wield the stick of love so that they can grow up in the right way. Children should not complain or protest because of being scolded or even spanked by their parents for their mistakes. Taking it as a lesson, they should repent seriously and strive to make amends for their errors. Such people will be able to grow up correctly and draw near to the center where God abides. (Blessed Family - 1027)